he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
no you cant smoke seaweed
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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