come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
