im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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