Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
