At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
