my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
