Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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