The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
