pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you win again, gameday.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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