Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
