Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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