I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
