There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
