Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
