sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
