Don't you send me to vm
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
