scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
