You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
