why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
