The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
