Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
