Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize