nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
