Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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