Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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