Your mouth is God's brothel.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
