So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
