Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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