..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
