I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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