Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
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