I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
