So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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