I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
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