i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
