Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
