It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
