i just google imaged poop.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
