I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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