Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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