all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wish my penis had a tongue
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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