i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
