i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Acid is not a monday night drug
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
