just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
