I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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