Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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