20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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