so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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