I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize