i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
