I wish I could punch you in the face.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There r osticjed everywhere
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
