You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
