i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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