I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
