Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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