So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
