well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the day after is always just damage control
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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