Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize