Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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