His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
