just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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