Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
