Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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