Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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