I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
