the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
