Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
