btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
