how can u be prego again
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
