so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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