My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
