Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
