I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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