Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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