Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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