hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i think i just lost a toe
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
