Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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