So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
