Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The best revenge is premature balding
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
