So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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