Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
