Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
